This morning I woke up to a push notification on my phone. Are you ready to your photoshoot with Kim Kardashian Hollywood Hack Kardashian? I was.
I downloaded Kim Kardashian: Hollywood last night. The game launched yesterday on the App Store and Google Play by Glu Cell, and I had to know how the hell they made a sport about somebody famous for being good at playing the media. As it turns out, they made a recreation about gaming the Hollywood system. Players rise by means of the ranks of the L.A. social scene (no matter that means) with the assistance of Kardashian’s digital likeness. The top aim: becoming as well-known and notorious as Kardashian. I obtained to degree six earlier than deciding I might risen far enough.
You know the way in the beginning of some character-primarily based video games there are scenes the place dialog packing containers pop up and characters discuss to one another, and also you hit a few buttons to get on with it? That is all this “game” is. Like Kardashian’s manufactured actuality empire, there are only the flimsiest of stakes and every little thing is easy and meaningless.
The Highlights
The entire aesthetic is cutesy and garish, like a Bratz Doll. I was into it.
You get to customize your individual Kardashian-world avatar, which reminded me of choosing out a Wii Mii. I had enjoyable making an attempt to make a Kardashian Kartoon in my own picture, although Kim K. does not provde the option to put on digital glasses.
Round level five, your character has to cope with a very thinly veiled version of Paris Hilton known as Willow Pape. In the course of the recreation she subtweets you (this can be the primary mobile recreation to incorporate subtweeting, and for that I salute it) and she hashtags Illuminati and Obamacare. That was the perfect part of the game.
The Lowlights
Once you open the screen, the tag line says “Courting well-known individuals will get you extra followers too.” That is a gross thing to think, not to mention make a tag line in a game.
That’s not the sport’s bigget flaw, though. The largest flaw is that it is hella boring.
For someone steadily accused of gaining undeserved fame, Kim Kardashian’s resume has plenty of hyphens: (formerly) small business owner-mannequin- spokesperson-actuality television personality-Kanye wrangler. She has hustle, and she or he definitely knows how one can maneuver herself forward socially. Kardashian’s precise life story would make for a fascinating and lurid game. That’s not what is going on on here, though. Kim Kardashian: Hollywood offers us a placid Kim serving as a type of digital Mephistopheles, blandly encouraging gamers to network their method from a retail job to the “glitzy” lifetime of a paparazzi magnet, however the DRAMA introduced does not get better than the aforementioned Paris Hilton clone.